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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164900">time to be beside you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/4beit/pseuds/4beit'>4beit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Background BDSM, F/F, background: vasquez &amp; maggie, mentions of: vasquez &amp; lucy, tw: prior bad BDSM etiquette</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:22:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,017</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/4beit/pseuds/4beit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“sure,” vas nods seriously “when i go out to get to know new people i also come home with a dopey smile on my face.” </p>
<p>your cheeks flush and you roll your eyes “are you going to harass lucy like this as well?” </p>
<p>vas feigns a dramatic gasp “you call this harassment? i call it my friend looking happy for the first time all semester and rightfully wanting to know all about the person who helped make it happen.” </p>
<p>[or: a gradschool au where lucy doms professionally on the side and one night at a club runs into maggie]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lucy Lane/Maggie Sawyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>time to be beside you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it starts with coffee. </p>
<p>it starts with coffee at a place just off campus, somewhere not filled with hungover twenty year olds; packed instead with the stressed and the studious, tables dotted with one or two people at a time, mugs of coffee and plates of food scattered carefully between notebooks and laptop charging cables and textbooks. the music is quiet in the background, the hiss of the espresso machine cutting through the lull of background chatter and coffee-house spotify playlist. you check your phone and see a message from lucy, one telling you that she’s found a table in the back, away from the traffic of the front door and further into the recesses of the bookstore turned study hotspot. you’re relieved for the privacy, not that this meeting is anything more than two people who might become friends, or might become slightly more. you’re not sure what to expect if you’re being honest. your current surroundings are a far cry from the club where you and lucy were introduced last week. for one, the coffeehouses stage is currently empty, no half naked volunteer getting their ass whipped by someone who, according to lucy, </p>
<p>“has never been whipped before and therefore has no idea what it feels like when you’re doing it wrong.” </p>
<p>you remember the way your stomach had flipped on itself when she spoke, her eyes alight with enthusiasm and her tone genuinely disappointed in the performance. you remember the way she turned and looked at you, wildfire eyes calming as she introduced herself with a firm handshake and a smile that left you dizzy. </p>
<p>a smile that leaves you dizzy now as you find the table lucy has occupied in the depth of the coffeeshop. there are a selection of law textbooks and stacked neatly along the edge of the table and you spy a backpack tucked under lucy’s chair “how long have you been here?” you ask, pulling out the chair opposite and settling into it. </p>
<p>“a few hours.” lucy shrugs “what do you want to drink?” </p>
<p>“oh,” you start, moving to stand “i can go get it.” </p>
<p>lucy smiles and shakes her head “i got this, what would you like to drink?” </p>
<p>you swallow hard ignoring the distinct gymnastics routine your stomach has started up “latte please, lactose free milk if they have it. if not, soy is fine.” </p>
<p>you watch as lucy disappears towards the front and you’re left sitting, wondering when you became such a hormonal mess. yes, you reason, lucy is just as attractive in skinny jeans and a v-neck as she was in the club with a dress that will take a long time for you to forget. yes, it also seems as if on top of her paid extracurriculars at the club, lucy is actually a law student – if the opened notebook with careful notes you can’t quite read upside down is anything to go by. so lucy is attractive and you’re attracted to her and you’re not even sure what this meeting? appointment? date? whatever. you’re not wholly sure what’s going to come of meeting up with lucy here today. you know she doms professionally, but you’re not sure if that’s where this is going or, </p>
<p>you cut yourself off. one step at a time, you remind. </p>
<p>when lucy reappears a few minutes later, drinks in hand, your relieved to pull the warm mug towards you and wrap your hands around its circumference, letting the warmth seep into palms “thanks.” you say, watching as lucy takes a sip of her drink “so,” you start “how was studying?” </p>
<p>“boring,” lucy says “it isn’t normally, but i was a little bit distracted.” she looks up, meeting your gaze deliberately. </p>
<p>you don’t have to ask what she was distracted by. </p>
<p>you want to have casual conversation, you really do, but your heart is racing and your thoughts are doing laps so you blurt “i haven’t done this,” you say “in a long time.” </p>
<p>“this isn’t normal for me either.” lucy says, and you’re surprised by the honesty. you expected a joke or for her to laugh, but instead she leans back in her chair and says “i’ve found that honesty upfront goes a long way, especially where certain subjects are concerned.” your heart begins to race faster as she continues “so, here it goes: you’re ridiculously attractive and i would like to get to know you more. also, you know what i do and i may be making an assumption, but i think maybe you’re interested in what i do. i’m interested in doing that with you. as friends, as a client, whatever.” lucy says and you wonder if the flash in lucy’s eyes is nerves “but that’s why i asked you to coffee.” she finishes.</p>
<p>you spend a few seconds in a stunned silence “i-” you start “yes.” you add “but,” there are a thousand thoughts racing each other to be said first and you force yourself to exhale “i’m definitely interested.” that much is easy to say, but there’s so much more on the tip of your tongue, so much more history to spill, to make sure lucy knows what she’s getting herself in to “in getting to know you. in what you do, too.” you watch lucy’s shoulders relax back, you watch her settle in her chair and the calm that seems to overtake her, starts to have an affect on you. </p>
<p>“good,” she smiles, reaching across the table and running her fingertips along the line of your wrist “we’re not going to rush into anything either of us don’t want.” she says. </p>
<p>you swallow hard and force yourself to say “there’s stuff you should know. about me.” </p>
<p>lucy’s fingers don’t stop from tracing the line of your wrist “okay,” she says and her tone is soft, level “are those things you want to talk about now?” </p>
<p>not here, not where anyone could overhear but “you should know.” you say by way of an answer. </p>
<p>lucy shakes her head, but her fingers are still moving in a rhythmic pattern “there’s not a lot you could say that would scare me away.” she promises “and i don’t want you to think you have to tell me anything just because we’ve agreed that there’s mutual attraction.” </p>
<p>you flip your wrist, fingers tangling themselves in lucy’s “okay.” you say, feeling a flush creep up your neck and into your cheeks “sorry.” you mumble. </p>
<p>lucy squeezes your hand “can you look at me?” she asks and fuck you’ve known her for one night and a cup of coffee but already you’re falling and falling hard. </p>
<p> you meet her gaze, breath catching in your chest when you see not a wildfire, but a gentleness in her eyes “obviously there’s stuff on your mind. if you want to talk about it now we can go somewhere private, your place or mine. somewhere where you’ll be comfortable. or, we can finish our drinks and i can tell you all the stories about vas i bet they’ve never told you and we can go get some lunch. we don’t have to rush into anything. like i said, i just want to be your friend.” </p>
<p>“i want that too.” you reply, smiling, feeling less tightly wound “lunch sounds good.” </p>
<p>lucy breaks into a smile “perfect.” she says, and without hesitation “has vas told you about when they were still doing crew and they flipped the boat and themself into the river in front of emily?” </p>
<p>“before they started dating?” you ask. </p>
<p>lucy grins and nods “back when they still had such a crush they couldn’t speak to her.” </p>
<p>“do tell.” you prompt, aware that still, you’re holding lucy’s hand. </p>
<p>and she’s holding yours.</p>
<hr/>
<p>you’re barely through the front door when you hear vas from the living room call out “so how was your date?” you don’t need to see them to know that they’re wearing a shit eating grin and no amount of explaining that it wasn’t a date will stop them from calling it as such. </p>
<p>you try anyway. </p>
<p>“not a date.” you say, after having locked the front door and taken your shoes off “we were just,” you pause, trying to figure out how to explain what exactly the afternoon was “we were just getting to know each other.” you settle on, collapsing onto the couch in the space next to vas. </p>
<p>“sure,” vas nods seriously “when i go out to get to know new people i also come home with a dopey smile on my face.” </p>
<p>your cheeks flush and you roll your eyes “are you going to harass lucy like this as well?” </p>
<p>vas feigns a dramatic gasp “you call this harassment? i call it my friend looking happy for the first time all semester and rightfully wanting to know all about the person who helped make it happen.” </p>
<p>“you’ve known lucy longer than me.” you point out “you know more about her than me.” </p>
<p>“that,” vas says “is not the point. but really,” they say, falling a step more serious “you look really happy. you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but also, please tell me everything.” </p>
<p>you can’t help but laugh as they give you puppy-dog eyes “it wasn’t a date,” you start “but it wasn’t, not a date.” you continue, watching as vas raises an eyebrow “she was,” you pause “she was very direct in the beginning.” </p>
<p>vas snorts “i bet she was.” they say “that tends to be her style. what did she say?” </p>
<p>“essentially that she asked me for coffee because she figured i was interested in her as a dom, or i wasn’t but she wanted to be friends anyway.” </p>
<p>“and you said?” </p>
<p>you leave vas in suspense for several longs seconds before “i told her i was interested in both.” </p>
<p>“of course you are.” vas says, beaming “i could have told you that back in the club.” they say “you two were so caught up in each other the club could have been on fire and you wouldn’t have noticed.” </p>
<p>“probably would have noticed.” you counter “hard not to notice stuff like that.” </p>
<p>“stop it,” vas rolls their eyes, “you know what i mean. so you two admitted that you wanted to do some kinky shit together and also be friends?” </p>
<p>you nod “and then i nearly had a panic attack trying to figure out how to tell her about bailey.” you say it quickly, almost offhand but even with the effort you fall short. vas is carefully silent for a moment, giving you the space to keep going if you want. </p>
<p>you do. </p>
<p>“she was great though, lucy was.” you say “told me we weren’t rushing into anything and i could tell her when i was ready, or when we weren’t in public.” </p>
<p>“she’s a good egg.” vas says “she’ll look after you, if or when you start doing scenes and stuff. she’s one of the best at being a dominant that i’ve come across.” </p>
<p>“i got that feeling.” you agree, because it’s true – with lucy you had almost immediately felt comfortable, felt like you could share all that bailey did “so we had lunch at that new sandwich place on rogers street and she may or may not have mentioned a time that you flipped your boat in front of emily.” </p>
<p>“i take back what i said about lucy.” vas frowns “she didn’t show you the video did she?” </p>
<p>you light up “she neglected to mention that it was on video.” you say. </p>
<p>“oh, well, i'm sure next time emily comes over she’ll be delighted to show you me making a fool of myself. not to mention, that river is toxic as fuck, i had a weird rash for days after falling in.” </p>
<p>“gross. but also i am not surprised.” </p>
<p>vas shrugs “it went away, eventually.” there’s a pause and then “so are you seeing her again?” </p>
<p>“yeah, yeah i am.” and you feel heat in the tips of your ears “next weekend. at her place.” </p>
<p>vas wiggles their eyebrows suggestively “i’ll make sure i'm around.” they say “i mean, i trust lucy more than anyone else at swish, but just in case, if you need company afterwards or whatever.” </p>
<p>“you’re a good a person.” you tell them. </p>
<p>“now,” vas says, putting their feet up on the coffee table “keep that in mind when i tell you that i ate your leftover pizza when i woke up.” vas says “i was very hungover and it looked very delicious.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>you’re walking the mile and a half to lucy’s apartment complex only because the tangle of nervous energy in your stomach and threading through your veins has left you restless all morning. there came a point where you couldn’t be in your apartment anymore, halfheartedly watching vas play halo. so you had decided to walk, forgetting that the weather forecast had called for a thunderstorm until the very moment that the skies had opened. you were, in a matter of minutes, thoroughly drenched. however you were also, within a few blocks of lucy’s apartment and therefore ended up walking with your hood up, hands jammed deep into your jacket pockets. it wasn’t a miserable walk, but by the time you arrived at lucy’s complex and pressed the buzzer, your socks were drenched, your skinny jeans were clinging to you and your hair was stringy and sticking to your face. attractive, you decide. </p>
<p>when lucy buzzes you up, the nerves in your stomach that had been abated by the walking and the storm return in full force. you’re nervous but it’s not dread or fear, it’s – well you’re not sure. it’s been a long time since you’ve come this close to being intimate with anyone, let alone considering bringing a kinky element into it. you decide, stepping out of the stairwell and onto lucy’s floor, that the nerves have come from anticipation. anticipation which only builds you barely have a chance to knock on the door before lucy is pulling it open and </p>
<p>“shit, you’re drenched.” she says. </p>
<p>you can’t help but laugh “yeah,” you say “nice to see you too.” </p>
<p>“well obviously it’s nice to see you. lucy says with a warm smile “but you must be freezing.” </p>
<p>you weren’t, adrenaline and anticipation had staved off the cold until the moment that lucy brought it up “uh,” you say “i’ll be okay.” which feels like the right thing to say despite the fact that drying denim is second in discomfort only to soaking wet denim. </p>
<p>“please,” lucy says, stepping aside to let you in “i can give you some of my stuff if you want, i think we’re the same size.” </p>
<p>“sure,” you say, “yeah, if that’s okay.” </p>
<p>“course it is.” lucy says “i’ll show you where the bathroom is and then get you some stuff.” </p>
<p>her apartment, from your first, second and third glances, is understated. you weren’t sure what you were expecting, but while the place is furnished and mildly decorated, you notice a distinct lack of personalisation. there’s handful of photos along one hallway wall – definitely one that has vas in it and a few from lucy’s rotc career. but otherwise, otherwise there’s a sort of emptiness underlying it all. but it’s not pervasive. you step into the bathroom and light is warm, the towels fluffy and a deep blue colour. </p>
<p>what happens next, well you didn’t plan it. lucy stepped away, disappeared further down the hall towards her bedroom and without thinking you stripped out of your soaking jacket and t-shirt. you hung them carefully over the edge of the bathtub and you reached for a towel, hoping to dry yourself off at least a little bit when - </p>
<p>when footsteps pausing in the open doorway tell you that lucy is back and she’s frozen where she stands and you don’t realise, you don’t realise for long seconds what has lucy stock still and staring despite herself. but when you remember, when your brain kickstarts itself into functioning you know lucy is looking at the scars. the scars along the curve of your hip and the small of your back. </p>
<p>“maggie,” lucy breaths and the way she says your name, it sends your heart up into your throat and you think you might cry from how gentle she is with your name on her tongue “i was going to ask if you wanted a sweatshirt.” she says, and it’s the first time you’ve heard her sound shaken. </p>
<p>you swallow hard “sure.” you say, “yeah, thanks.” </p>
<p>you wonder why you feel so calm. you wonder why you’re not shaking or slamming the door shut. you’re wondering why you’re standing barefoot in lucy’s bathroom with your scars so accidentally and obviously on display without shirking or trying to hide them. you wonder if this is just the effect that lucy has on you. she brings you a sense of calm, a sense of confidence and security that pushes you to say </p>
<p>“you can ask about them, if you want. i don’t mind.” </p>
<p>lucy blinks twice, quickly and she seems to come back to herself “i will,” she says “if you want me to.” she adds “but i think, let’s get you into something dry.” she says “is that okay?” </p>
<p>“sure.” you nod, “that’s okay.” and it is, sort of. sort of in the sense that this wasn’t how you imagined telling lucy about bailey and the time with the belt and </p>
<p>fuck </p>
<p>fuck </p>
<p>there’s blood rushing in your ears and maybe you’re not breathing as steadily as you should because the confidence from moments ago seems to be fading and you hear lucy take a step towards you. you feel her hand along your elbow, along the straight of your forearm and then tangling her hand in yours “they don’t change anything.” she murmurs “okay? no matter who or how, everything i've said already still stands. i promise.” she’s so close to you, fingers caught in yours and as if she can read your mind, read the tension drawn across your body she says “do you want me to ask about them now?” </p>
<p>you nod once, the story is building in your chest and you feel like it needs to be told or else it will rip through and tear you apart. </p>
<p>“who did this to you?” lucy asks, and you shiver not just at her question but the feather-light touch of her fingers along the ridge of one scar at your hip. </p>
<p>you lean into her touch, into her stability and silent promise of safety “her name was bailey.” you tell her “we dabbled in some kinky stuff when i was at gotham university,” your voice wavers “i didn’t know anything about anything and i trusted her and,” you swallow hard “it was okay, at first. until i pissed her off and she,” you remember the slide of her leather belt along her pants and the heavy sound it made as it thumped against the side of the bed. there had been anticipation, but it was wrong, all wrong. anticipation mixed with fear. knowing without knowing that you were not in a safe place; that this person you trusted was about to break that trust “it was a belt. she hit me five times and i- she knew the belt wasn’t okay. it’s what, when i as a kid.” you shake you head and keep your eyes closed “i  never went back.” you exhale, not realising your whole body is shaking until lucy is pulling the towel around you, and puling you into her arms “i haven’t done anything, haven’t,” you swallow hard “not just scenes. haven’t had sex or anything, with anyone since then.” </p>
<p>“thank you for telling me.” lucy says, her words as soft as her touch “thank you for trusting me.” </p>
<p>“you make it easy.” you say, an easy admission after all that you’ve just said. </p>
<p>“we can talk more,” lucy promises “but you’re shivering and soaked.” </p>
<p>and also half naked standing in her bathroom so, you nod, feeling the effects of the rain and the cold now “okay.” you say and then lucy is disappearing back down the hall and for long seconds you’re left with your thoughts in her bathroom. you haven’t shared like this before, haven’t told anyone at all. vas only knows because they were there when you got home that night. telling them was almost impossible.</p>
<p>but telling lucy? </p>
<p>well you’re not crying, you’re shaking more because you’re cold rather than anything else and she hasn’t run. she hasn’t kicked you out. it shouldn’t be a surprise, at the very least lucy is a good and decent human behind. however three years was long enough to let your anxieties twist themselves into facts. you’ve been so convinced that your scars are ugly, that what happened was mostly your fault, that no one could want you once they saw them. no matter how loudly you told yourself those things were not true, the anxiety was always louder, your haunting memories of what bailey had said to you were always louder. </p>
<p>except, apparently, not louder than lucy. </p>
<p> in fact , you hear her footsteps coming back down the hall now. there’s pause and she knocks on the partially closed bathroom door, waiting for your soft “yeah, come in.” before stepping inside. she has in her arms sweatpants and a hoodie. both look warm and soft and exactly what you need right now. </p>
<p>“thank you.” you tell her, brave enough for the first time to look at lucy directly “thank you for,” you swallow hard “not just the clothes and stuff but,” you trail off, hoping lucy understands. </p>
<p>“it’s not easy, sharing stuff like that,” lucy says “i’ll be in the living room when you’re changed.” she says, stepping back out of the bathroom, giving you privacy. </p>
<p>it takes a few minutes to change; to extricate yourself from your jeans and socks. you stand for a moment, no more than a few seconds, shivering in the bathroom with your gaze fixed on the collection of scars that curl around your hip and onto your ass. they’re harsh, unmissable and by far not the only scars you have – but they’re the ones that for three years have held you hostage. not the scars alone, everything that bailey did, and didn’t do, left you weighted down protecting yourself. but lucy, it’s been three weeks since you met her at the bdsm club that vas dragged you too and in those three weeks, you’ve talked nearly every day. not just about kink but life and studying and there is flirting,</p>
<p>there is definitely flirting. mostly from lucy in the beginning because she knows how to flirt better than anyone you’ve ever met. but now, as you’re both hurtling towards something, something else, something more, you’re flirting back. </p>
<p>now fully dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, distinctly dressed down in comparison to lucy’s attire, but you’re all the warmer for it. you walk into the living room, illuminated by lamplight and a string of multi-coloured christmas lights strung along the wall. the effect is distinctly homey, comforting and inviting. such a contrast to your first impression of the space. </p>
<p>“so,” you say “sure i haven’t killed the mood?” it’s half a joke, half giving lucy an out. </p>
<p>“definitely not.” lucy says, and there’s something fierce in her voice “and anyone who says otherwise isn’t worth your time.” she adds. </p>
<p>words catch in your throat and you find yourself only able to say one thing, ask one thing </p>
<p>“can i kiss you?” </p>
<p>the words come out soft, not hesitant, but said with great reverence. </p>
<p>“yeah,” is lucy’s response, and she’s shifting on the couch to meet you in the middle. </p>
<p>and kissing her,</p>
<p>fuck, </p>
<p>kissing her. your heart stops, your world spins. her hands are soft on your cheeks, her lips gentle against yours. you’ve never kissed anyone and had it feel like this. two things are for certain as far as lucy is concerned. one, you’ve never met anyone like her. and two, </p>
<p>you’re going, </p>
<p>going, </p>
<p>gone</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>you can thank racethewind10 for this entirely. </p>
<p>i have tentative plans to make this story part of a collection based around the theme of <i>"who did this to you"</i>. at the moment i have vague concepts for two more stories! </p>
<p>i hope y'all are keeping safe and please, please, please - if you are able to vote in america - get out and vote!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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